


Ashes (They all fall down)

by Jinxed_Eclipse



Category: Naruto
Genre: ANBU was a dark place, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, BAMF Hatake Kakashi, Gen, Genderfluid Yamato | Tenzou, Hurt No Comfort, I just made the story more angsty what the hell, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Neglect, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Kakashi Gaiden, Lots of anime-only info and my headcanons:), Manipulation, Manipulative Shimura Danzou, Mildly Dubious Content, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Purposefully misleading titles, ROOT was a god damn black hole, Sarutobi Hiruzen made a lot of mistakes, Slightly - Freeform, Stockholm Syndrome, The Kyuubi attack - freeform, The shinobi world is a dark place, There is death in this but almost the same amount as canon tho, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Uchiha Massacre, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, after the first bit it's wayyyy different, until later... much later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:02:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26146084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jinxed_Eclipse/pseuds/Jinxed_Eclipse
Summary: Hatake Kakashi's world shatters when he is twelve, the carefully(barely)held together strings snapping on October tenth as he loses two of the last people he has ever cared for.Offered a position in ROOT under an esteemed(suspicious)elder, and with nothing to lose and no one to ground him, he accepts./OR in a world where Danzou was a little more careful, and the Third Hokage a little more grief stricken, Hatake Kakashi is thrown into a web so tangled he may never find the way out, if he ever even wants to find the exit that is.IMPORTANT: Updates will be slow/close to impossible to post until at least end of Jan 2021, as I have exams and very limited technological contact, so I apologize in advance, but I hope you like the recent chapter! We start properly diverging from canon come chapter three:) Hope you have a wonderful day!
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Maito Gai | Might Guy, Hatake Kakashi & Uchiha Obito, Hatake Kakashi & Yamato | Tenzou, Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Obito, Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Shisui, Namiashi Raidou/Shiranui Genma, Shimura Danzou & Hatake Kakashi
Comments: 10
Kudos: 29





	1. The five times no one cared, and the one time they did.

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo, welcome to Ashes! This is my newest story, another Naruto AU. I, once again, don't think I've seen anything like this so I decided I might as well write what I want to read right? :)  
> This might get a bit dark but I'll try not to go too deeply into anything, and wherever possible I'll make sure to warn you guys,  
> Oh and if you haven't checked out Cynefin then, obviously, I'd love if you would<3  
> Take care my lovely Beans~

Kakashi is twelve and his world crashes down around him like a shattering glass, dropped by a careless hand.  
Kakashi is twelve and he is restrained when he tries to help, by a chunin twice his age, pulled behind a seal and forced to watch his village bur under the paws of a giant beast.  
Kakashi is twelve and he stops struggling, stretched senses informing him of the missing chakra signatures as the hulking form of the giant demon disappears. He goes limp in the arms that held him back. He thinks he feels his knees hit the floor, but all he can be sure of is that someone has ripped out his heart ~~like he did to Rin-~~  
  
  
_"No.”_ He remembers whispering through a sore aching throat as the children around him begin to cheer. _“No, please not them too.”_  
There are voices around him, talking to him, but all Kakashi can focus on is the barrier ~~the cage~~ fading. His heart (what’s left of it) lurches in his chest, and he’s scrambling up and forward, chakra surging awake as he takes off, unwilling to be held back again.  
_He needs to see if- needs to know that it isn’t true... it can’t be true.  
_  
His feet skid across the dirt as he lands with little grace, his eyes trained on the motionless heads of ruby red and soft gold, his ears ringing with a newborn's cries.  
Kushina Uzumaki tilts her head weakly, she catches sight of him, "Kashi..."  
  
Kakashi stumbles to her side, adrenaline pumping through his blood, "Kushina? Kushina! You're- I'll get a medic I-" his eyes catch on the gaping hole where her stomach should have been, "No..."  
  
  
"Heh, I'm as good as gone... Kashi... take... take care of yourself... okay? I'm sorry... that the idiot and I... we won't..." she gasps out, tears still trailing down her face, "Watch over him? My little Naru... I'm sorry..."  
  
Her eyes flutter shut, a sad smile-a horrible parody of her usual grin-curving her lips, Kakashi watches her breathing slow until it finally stops, and he sits there with his knees soaked in the blood of his family and wonders if the world is playing some sick joke on him.  
  
They find him in the aftermath, knelt in the blood of two of Konoha's finest shinobi, cradling a baby in his arms. Kakashi looks up at the Sandaime hokage, with hollow eyes and desperation on his tongue asks,  
"What do I do now?"  
____  


No one cared when Kakashi entered the academy at four, having never played a game for fun. No one cared when he graduated at five, desperate for his father's wavering attention. No one cared when Kakashi became a chunin at six, in the middle of a bloody field where his first team left him to die. No one cared when Kakashi became a jonin at eleven, learning Doton along side his lightning and fire, because lightning couldn't stop a cave in. No one cared when he became an ANBU at eleven, with the blood of his teammate still caked beneath his nails. But they care when Kakashi is twelve and held back from helping his sensei and the woman he was meant to guard, because he is 'too young'. Kakashi is twelve and everyone forgets he is a child until it is convenient to them.


	2. T is for Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> T actually _is_ for therapy. Problem is, there's no therapy involved here. Alternatively; 'T' is for Trauma:)

_“You were unable to join the fight that night because of the Third’s  
orders...  
...Isn’t that why lord Fourth lost his life?”_

~~  
~~

There’s a happy patch of mold growing from the corner, spreading across the ceiling. Kakashi’s eyes fall to the outlier again and again, as prominent as it is in comparison to the bland effects of his room. The cold seeps through the floor and into his skin, the chill would bother him, but his heart has been ice for far too long for him to care now. A memory comes unbidden to his mind of Minato pointing out the exact growth, telling Kakashi...

> "Kakashi! This place is in terrible condition... you could get sick by staying in here, just look at that!" The man gestured at the ceiling wildly, looking more stressed that Kakashi thought appropriate for the problem.  
>  "Sensei, you worry too much. I'm quite capable of taking care of myself. Besides, it doesn't matter. I'm barely here anyway."  
>  "Kakashi-that...that's not the point! and it certainly doesn't make me feel any better about you living here!"   
>  "Sensei!"

That had been only a few years before he'd made jonin, it felt like a lifetime ago but was in reality two years. His eyes dart to the window, hearing the soft pitter-patter of rain against glass as he stares at the only way he can see Minato's face now.  
It isn't the same. The sculpture was _wrong_. Namikaze Minato, the Yondaime, was- _had_ been a powerful man, and the monument showed that, and yet the face on the rock... didn't show everything else the man had been. It didn't display his kindness or selflessness, nor how he was easily embarrassed, his love for seals and ramen nor his fear of his wife's wrath. It made him less human... less real. Like Kakashi really had dreamt up the entire thing.  


> "-Because of the Third...  
>  -lord Fourth lost his life..." 

A sharp inhale. A flutter of pale eyelashes.  
Kakashi pulled himself off the ground, ignoring the red flaking off his skin and the mild itch left behind in its wake. He was a shinobi, he had a duty to do and to question it... was worthy of death.  


> _一“I believe the White Fang was a true hero!”一_  
> 

“Obito…”  
Kakashi shook off the memories, shoving the gloves over his shaking hands and picking up his mask. His eyes dart over his shoulder to the downturned frame of everyone he had held dear; of everything he had lost and every failure he had made.  
In a way, he was almost pathetically weak. He would never have the impossible optimism and kindness of his mentor, nor Obito’s unshakeable ability to believe and perceiver, and never Rin’s boundless capacity for love. Kakashi would never be strong the way his team mates had been. He was different. Wired differently. He’d known nothing but the life of a shinobi. When his teammates had been playing in the park with each other, Kakashi had been bandaging little cuts on his fingers from throwing weapons. Kakashi had always lived a life of blood and sweat and pain, and would never know differently because this was what he was good at, what he was bred for, and no matter how much he wished it was all different, nothing would change.  
Kakashi turned his eyes away from the frame and did what he did best, stepping back into the welcoming shadows and slipping the mask of a killer onto his face.  


He killed his emotions.

  


They don’t test him. The little fact strikes him immediately. There is no probationary period, nor a preliminary test. There isn’t even an induction test. Kakashi is left wondering whether this is normal or if he is, yet again, a special case.

“Thank you for agreeing to meet me, Kakashi-san.” The man says, carefully pouring out two cups of tea. Kakashi has his side profile from the entrance but the man turns towards him, still seated in seiza, and still holding the pot.  
Danzou smiles faintly, and Kakashi is struck by the faintest resemblance he holds to Obito’s grandmother. Then again Kakashi has lived through enough to know not to trust that smile, nor the man who wears it, but a small part of him hears ‘ally’ and calms. He tenses. A quick whip of his chakra and the scene falls away, as the layers shatter.

  
He’s still in the same doorway, minus his escort, looking into a sparsely furnished room, the differences being that the lights are dim and the tatami floor old.  
“Others do you no justice, Hatake-kun,” Came the raspy voice of the man, floating disarmingly over the room even as Kakashi followed his nose to the origin, almost a shadow against a nearby wall. “With the sharingan covered as well. I am very... pleased that you’ve decided to join us.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear kami, it's Danzou. Please don't hesitate to leave a comment telling me what you think, your theories, or even just something random; I'd love hearing from you!  
> ~Jinx.  
> 

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaand that's a wrap! Hope y'all are looking forward to coming chapters :D  
> Please don't hesitate to leave a comment telling me what you think, any typos/errors, your theories, or even just something random about your day; I love hearing from you!  
> ~Jinx<3


End file.
